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PEE YOUR PANTS!!!!! (jokes)

AbOuT mE
CoNtAcT mE
PEE YOUR PANTS!!!!! (jokes)
!!!~~~pIcTuReS oF mY fRiEnDs~~~!!!


THESE ARE REALLY FUNNY JOKES...READ THEM YOU WILL LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I got these jokes from it is a funny website so you should go there!!
WARNING: some of these jokes are kinda dirty....cuz im a dirty person and i  like dirty jokes!! hehehe

Yo momma so nasty she gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo momma is so stupid she went to sleep with a ruler to see how long she slept
Yo momma so fat; when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "OK"!
Yo mommas so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
Yo momma so smelly she made right guard turn left!
Yo momma is so stupid she thought *69 was sex with a celebrity

A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."

Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual Harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

A little boy walked in on his parents having sex. He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?" She said, "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out." The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!"

A young boy was having a hard time in math and was getting very bad grades, so his parents switched him into a Catholic school. When his parents got his first report card, they were shocked. Their son miraculously had an A in math. The parents wondered what was going on, so they went to the son to ask him what sparked the sudden improvement. The son replied, "When I saw the man nailed to the plus sign on the wall, I knew they meant business!"

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"

A little girl and her mother were taking a walk in the park when they stumbled on two dogs having sex. The little girl asked her mom. What are they doing? Not knowing what to say the mom quickly answers, they are baking a cake. The next morning the little girl walks up to her mom and says. Mommy, I know what you and daddy were doing last night, the mom asks what?.... you two where baking a cake. The mom asks and how do you know? The little girl says cause I licked the icing off the couch.

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got

Two ladies were out driving in the Virginia countryside fifty miles from Washington D.C. One of them pointed out two naked men in a field masturbating each other. "Look" she said, "two Democrats jerking each other off."
"How do you know they're Democrats? Her friend asked.
"If they were Republicans, they'd be fucking a crowd of poor people.

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